Bernice

Costumes

2008-07-18T16:55:23Z

I just got a look at the costumes Skeeziks picked out for the party. If Murphy doesn't kill him, Laura will. He's making her dress as a rabbit. He claims they were all that were left, but I put as much faith in that as in the claim that he has royal blood.

He's going as Sherlock Holmes. Now, if they want their costumes to reflect who they are, Laura should go as Sherlock Holmes and Skeeziks as the clown. That leaves Murphy as the fluffy bunny, which fits him fine.

Murphy said he'll stick close to Laura all night. I said he should try to stand behind her as much as possible.

Wilson's Return

2008-05-26T18:28:59Z

Guess who just came out of the woodwork! We now have Wilson Jefferies as a client. Murphy, who knew him when he was with Laura, is refusing to talk to or about him. Laura is being so professional that you just know at some point she's gonna let him have it.

Mr Steele seems to have been thrown by this more than I would have predicted. You'd think he'd be glad that her ex is no competition, but he seems very nervous.

Personally, I think the timing is great. Laura can see Wilson, who is honest and upright and as thrilling as a station wagon and compare him to Mr Steele, who is, okay, a little shady, but who goes through life like a sports car and is willing to take her along for the ride.

I think Murphy needs a night out with a sympathetic friend.

bernicef @ 2008-03-31T08:38:00

2008-03-31T07:48:19Z

Laura and Mr Steele have gone to talk to Chrissie Carstairs. He thought he would get better results alone, but I think that's what Laura was afraid of.

Murphy is sulking about his shoulder, injured in an ego-related accident. Why men feel the urge to break down doors, I don't know. Maybe he's still trying to impress Laura.

Laura told me Russell Stewart came onto her. She didn't tell Skeeziks. I would. I'd make him jealous and see what he does. I wonder what Laura's up to.

I Got Them Both To Do This

2008-03-01T20:51:20Z

They were both surprisingly honest, but here are the answers I think they should have given:

1. Who eats more?
Skeeziks. He never seems to gain any weight.

2. Who said "I love you" first?
They're both cowards and neither is likely to say it, but they say it a lot by their actions.

3.How long have you been together?
Too long to still not be really together.

4. Who sings better?
Laura has a beautiful voice.

5. Who's older?:
Probably him, but there's not much difference.

6. Who's smarter?
Laura, no question, but he's better at bluffing his way through.

7. Who's temper is worse?
Laura's. He gets angry, but he'll back down, Laura won't.

8. Who does the laundry?
Thankfully, Laura doesn't have to iron his shirts.

9. Who does the dishes?:
They're both pretty good about that.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?:
If they ever share a bed, I don't think either will be staying on their side of it.

11. Who snores?
I don't know.

12. Whose hair is longer?
Laura's.

13. Who's better with the computer?
Laura. Skeeziks seems to think it'll suck out his brain.

14. Do you have any pets?
Laura has fish, Steele has his ego.

16. Who cooks dinner?
He cooks. Laura, it's safe to say, doesn't.

17. Who drives when you are together?
She likes to drive, he likes to be driven. A match made in Heaven!

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
He does, but technically with her money.

19. Who is the most stubborn?
They are the two most stubborn people I've ever met.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
Neither of them is willing to admit it most of the time.

21. Who's parents do you see more?
I don't think Skeeziks has any parents.

22. Who named your pet?
Laura named her fish. I don't know if Steele's ego has a name.

23. Who kissed who first?
He kissed her, and it sounds like he did a pretty good job of it.

24. Who asked who out?
He's asked her many times. Sometimes she says yes.

26. Who's more sensitive?
He is, I think. He's very easily hurt.

27. Who's taller?
He is. Tall, dark and handsome. What is that girl's problem?

28. Who has more friends?
We know very little of his friends.

29. Who has more siblings?:
Laura, we think.

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?:
She does, definitely.

31.Who's more sexy?:
Skeeziks.

32. Who sleeps naked?
I'd put money on it that they both do.

33. Who has been with more ex-lovers?
Steele. Laura's only had a few.

34. Who has more money?
Really, all the money belongs to Laura.

35. Who has more tattoos?
Neither of them.

36. Who eats more sweets?
Laura, but she pretends otherwise. I've even known her to throw away her wrappers in his office.

37. Who is closer to their family?
Laura.

38. Who has the older car?
He has no car. Laura owns the Rabbit and leases the limo.

39. Who has bigger dreams?
He seems to be the dreamer, although I bet she dreams about him!

40. Who cries more?
I don't think either of them cries easily.

Skeeziks on TV

2008-02-27T08:34:48Z

She's going to put him on TV. He's happy about it, of course. Skeeziks purrs like a cat when he's getting plenty of attention. It's lucky mirrors don't wear out with use, or he'd be costing us a fortune.

Sometimes I envy Laura. He's cute and funny and his looks are just perfect. Then I see how hard she has to work just to keep him from getting out of control and I stop envying her. He's a difficult man to keep in line.

Things are getting very entertaining. I think he's realised that he has deeper feelings for Laura than he thought. You can see him trying to convince himself it's not a problem. I don't think Laura knows. She knows he's attracted, passionately attracted, but I don't think she knows he's enough in love to scare himself.

What Now?

2008-02-04T07:33:00Z

I was very angry when I called Laura at home this morning and Skeeziks answered. I assumed he'd used me last night to get her so jealous she'd sleep with him to keep him away from "Darlene" but when I challenged him, he said any advantages taken weren't his. I don't know what he means by that, but I mean to find out.

I'm glad he didn't sleep with her last night. I mean, I want them together, but not like that. I don't want Laura being tricked into something she's not ready for.

I hope his comment doesn't mean she's had someone else at her place overnight. I know she's serious about Skeeziks, so anyone else would just be an attempt to convince herself she isn't and that would be a real mess.

If I had a magic wand, I'd make them be completely honest with each other for a day. By sunset, they'd either be lovers or dead.

Tricks

2008-02-02T18:00:44Z

He's at it again! He's trying to manipulate Laura and he's using me to do it and if he doesn't explain tomorrow, he'll be very sorry.

He got me to stay late, and I mean very late, to call him on the car phone. I assumed it was something to do with a case, but then he started calling me Darlene and giving me the sort of call I usually only get on off-duty hours (and all too rarely, these days). I'm sure he was trying to make Laura jealous.

Much as I want those two to get together, I don't want Laura to be tricked into anything. Skeeziks had better watch his step. I won't stand by and see Laura hurt!

bernicef @ 2008-01-29T07:07:00

2008-01-29T07:14:21Z

The office is in chaos because we're redecorating. When I say we, I mean Murphy and me, because Skeeziks is trying to pick the perfect colour to complement his eyes and Laura is off finally pursuing a hobby. She should do us all a favor and pursue Skeeziks!

Choosing paint must make him cranky, because he's in a foul mood today, muttering about betrayal and infidelity. Maybe one of his many women did to him what he's always doing to them and saw someone else.

On the other hand, I'm fairly sure there's no-one serious. Fred's usually very discreet, but yesterday, while he waited for Skeeziks, he said, "He has them eating out of his hand, then gets me to take them home. He wastes so many opportunities!"

It's a funny thought that maybe Mr Steele is saving himself for Laura. Well, it's not her that's been unfaithful. She's too busy with Giovanni.

bernicef @ 2008-01-24T20:07:00

2008-01-24T20:14:23Z

I know she spent a night at his apartment and the next day she was tired, but she told me nothing happened. Again!

"Nothing?" I said.

"Well, not nothing, but not really something."

"Well, that makes a whole lot of sense." I said.

"He was a perfect gentleman." she said.

"The rat!" I said.

"We kissed." she said, "We kissed a lot."

"How much of a lot?" I asked.

Then she got her magnum of champagne look and said, "A lot of a lot."

I think it's progress.

So Near!

2008-01-11T22:06:37Z

Last I heard, Laura had some kind of half-hearted date set up with you-know-who and was worrying about his intentions (which are pretty obviously horizontal and hot, so what's her problem?

Out of the blue, she calls me and says can I feed Nero. "Aha, we're finally making progress!" I think. Now it turns out that Murphy has found a case and they're going to his old college to solve it for him.

Well, I guess it could be worse. At least they're both going. Who knows? Maybe working together on this case will make them closer. It's either that or Plan B, and Plan B involves handcuffs.

So That's What Was Going On!

2008-01-05T06:37:00Z

Murphy kissed Laura and told her how he felt. This could have been very bad and, frankly, couldn't be good for Murphy. But Skeeziks saw them! He walked in and saw that he's not the only guy in the world, or in these offices, who wants Laura.

He eventually told them he'd back off and let them be together. Laura says he only said that in the hope that she'd start chasing him for a change. When challenged on that, he laughed, apparently.

She was pleased at how jealous he was. They're in love. I'm sure of it now. Murphy is slowly beginning to understand. Now the only ones who need to be convinced are Laura and Skeeziks.

I asked who kisses better and she just smiled and said, "It would be unfair to Murphy to say."

Something Fishy.

2007-12-06T10:34:24Z

To say Skeeziks is up to something is as unnecessary as saying that a weekend in Maui with a gorgeous millionaire would be nice. He was born with some scam in mind and probably stole the midwife's watch. There's something going on now, though.

He's not telling Laura about the guy who came to see him and he seemed very anxious not to have them meet. I'd put money on it that the guy has more in common with Mr Steele than most of our clients do. What they are up to, I don't know, but I do hope Skeeziks doesn't blow things with Laura to help someone he shouldn't.

Aha!

2007-11-22T08:28:42Z

Skeeziks is in love. I'm sure of it. It's been an eventful few days and a lot of alcohol has flowed under the bridge, but the highlight was when Skeeziks got drunk and returned to the office. Laura was there, burning the midnight oil as usual.

According to her, he came in, fell onto the floor and drunkenly complimented her, then, the big one. He said he's rather enjoyed being a Peppler. Now, why would he say that? It's not that he has acquired a taste for golf pants, is it? He likes pretending to be married to Laura.

She asked me what I thought. How many interpretations can there be? The guy is in love and that beats "attracted" and "intrigued". Hell, it even beats "challenged". I wish Laura would believe me. He's hers any time she wants him. I think maybe he has a lot more depth than she suspects.

On the other hand, maybe she does suspect and that's why she's so nervous about it. Some men are like cream cakes. Once you start, you find it very hard to stop. She wants a guy she doesn't need too much.

It's Official: Laura is crazy.

2007-10-30T05:19:17Z

Laura managed to make it into Mr Steele's bed. That far, I am impressed. He wanted her, she wanted him. Hot sex should have followed as night follows day.

Did it?

Remember, we're talking Laura, here. She went home.

Think about that. She had the best-looking man I've ever seen lying on top of her in a big, comfortable bed and she decided she'd rather go home to an empty house than stay in his bed finding out whether he's as good as he thinks he is (my money is on yes).

Fine, so he might not hang around. Isn't the same thing true of any man? At least this one would be entertaining while he was around.

WHAT?

2007-10-11T20:26:49Z

Laura told me she ended up in bed with Skeeziks on this latest case. I pressed for details and she just smiled innocently and said, "Well, nothing happened, obviously."

How is that obvious? A man she lusts after crept into her bed in the dead of night and nothing happened? I'm starting to think we need diagrams.

She does talk about it with a dreamy look on her face. Whatever didn't happen, something did.

Laura is Crazy

2007-09-28T19:17:42Z

So much for the big date! Laura took a client along. Even worse, she persisted in turning down his dinner even when she discovered he had cooked for her. How many guys will cook for a woman?

I'm starting to think she's afraid to be alone with him. It may sound hopeless, but, since he isn't the kind of man any woman needs to fear, she could only be afraid of her own feelings for him. If she's afraid of them, those feelings must be strong and if he has strong feelings for her too (strong enough to provoke French cuisine) then it can only be a matter of time. How much time, though? The way she's going, it could be six months!

At least as his doctor, she should be able to find an excuse to "examine" him. I bet he wouldn't object to that.

Progress!

2007-09-26T17:24:40Z

Things are going well between Laura and our figurehead. He's asked her out to dinner and she couldn't think of an excuse, or didn't want to. She says they're just going to talk, but I hope she has more sense than to waste an opportunity like this. He's been smiling very unlike a man who intends to spend the evening talking.

If she wants conversation, she could call me. How long is it since she saw any action anyway? Mr Steele may be out with someone new every night, but Laura sits at home and does paperwork. I just hope he's able to separate her from her briefcase tonight.

Mr Steele and the Bald Eagle

2007-09-11T06:14:42Z

Laura was asked to send Mr Steele to address a committee for the preservation of the bald eagle. Apparently, his suggestion when he first heard about it was that anyone wanting to preserve a bald eagle should consider stuffing it.

Laura and Murphy have gone to his apartment to try to persuade him. I wish them luck. I can never get around him that way. Laura said he's going if she has to drag him there. I think it may take her and Murphy and a gun. Apparently, conservation doesn't rank very high on his list of priorities, not as high, for example, as mooching around the office annoying me or sitting at home doing nothing.

I wish I'd gone with them. I'd love to see the irresistable force attack the immovable object.

Murphy, I'm sure it was great, but I heard the story!

2007-09-06T06:33:51Z

If I hear the story one more time, I think I'll scream. Murphy says putting Skeeziks in the hospital, wrapped up in a straitjacket and snarling like a dog was the most fun he ever had.

I'd like to have seen it, I admit. I'd love to have seen his hair all messed up and his eyes wild. The way Murphy describes it, it was quite a sight!

I don't have the heart to tell Murphy that this will only make Laura think more of Skeeziks. He's playing detective and, from what I can see, he has a talent for it.

bernicef @ 2007-08-27T14:31:00

2007-08-27T13:37:40Z

She had him alone on an island and I know for sure he would have tried something, because he'd try something if the elevator broke down, but "nothing happened" so I'm starting to worry about Laura.

Fine, so he's unreliable. You're looking for a man to pay the mortgage, pick up the kids, he's not the guy. He's got eyes you could drown in and a smile that melts all your vital organs, but he's not the kind of guy you can set your watch or even your calendar by.

But he's gorgeous and he's funny and he's charming and I bet he knows what he's doing between the sheets. If she knows he's unreliable, where's the problem. It's the ones who seem to be, but aren't that cause all the trouble. She wasted an opportunity. I hope she doesn't repeat that mistake.

On the other hand, he doesn't seem to have lost interest. I think she's right. He loves a challenge.

Not Bad

2007-08-13T05:29:36Z

Our mystery man pulled it off at the reunion. Whatever else he is, he's a good actor. Sometimes I find myself thinking of him as Remington Steele.

I know Laura does too. Let's face it, the combination of her fiction and his is pretty impressive.

He's mostly good for the agency. He gives off an air of wisdom and integrity that people respect. He has the charm to gain an appreciative audience and the nerve to walk into a room full of people and pretend to be things he's not.

He's Bored

2007-08-09T21:52:21Z

"Remington Steele" is wandering around the office like a lost puppy. He gets bored and becomes very annoying very fast. For example, I know he knows my name. He gets it wrong deliberately.

He is gorgeous, though, so having him around is not so bad and I think he's good for Laura. Brings a glow to her cheeks.

Right now, he's looking at anything lying around. I think he hopes Laura will leave her diary about the place or something. I just hope they destroyed the invitation to the reunion, because I don't want him telling me how they forgot to take him.

Office Life Is Fun

2007-08-09T08:07:24Z

Laura loves our fake Remington Steele, but won't admit it because she's afraid of complications. (I could use a few complications like that!)

Mr Steele loves Laura, but won't admit it because he's afraid of commitments.

Murphy loves Laura, but won't admit it because he doesn't want to wreck a good friendship.

Personally, I prefer the simple approach. Laura should drag Steele into bed and worry about the details later.